Riding the rides at the fair is a little like taking a used car for a test spin. You pretty much know what to expect. And the older you get and the more you get spun, the more you feel like the used car.

So as a public service, the geniuses behind the scenes at Out & About deemed this year's Georgia State Fair the perfect proving ground for a test-rider in his 30s to rate the biggest of the fair's big-kid rides, on a scale of one to five. But, of course, not before sending him on his way with the oh-by-the-way disclaimer, "Now if you don't feel safe about a ride, don't ride it."

The advice, however, proved useless on the test-rider's first ride, a 50-foot-high, four-to-a-car roller coaster called the Avalanche. The rider and his seatmate couldn't get their seat belt to buckle. Told of this, the ride operator assessed the situation and said, "It's all right."

Turns out it was.

The Avalanche

Nausea Factor: 1

Thrill Factor: 2.5

Bruise Factor: 2

Comment: A bunny-slope of a coaster with tracks barely thicker than spaghetti, which, by the way, would be safe to eat before riding.

Down the midway stands an upside-down-swinging, sling-you-around number called the Banzai. The Banzai is next to the landing pad for a helicopter you can pay to fly in - an interesting location considering the Banzai's gyration is akin to that of a wounded helicopter.

The Banzai

Nausea Factor: 3.5

Thrill Factor: 4.5

Bruise Factor: 2

Comment: Must be what it's like to ride on the end of a twirling baton. And if you time your ride right, you can see the nearby chopper in flight - upside down.

Just across from the Banzai there's a four-story-high hoop as round as a desert sunset called the Ring-O-Fire. And on it, not only do you go up, up, up; you must also loop down, down, down.

The Ring-O-Fire

Nausea Factor: 3.5

Thrill Factor: 3

Bruise Factor: 2

Comment: Looks scarier than it is. Ride it and you'll know what it would feel like spending eternity circling the hole of a doughnut - so squished-in by the padding that the jaws of life couldn't free you. Its operator says a rider upchucks only "about once every hundred rides. But when they do it's a mess."

Along the midway's backstretch, a herky-jerky monstrosity called the Zipper rides like a Ferris wheel that's tumbling down stairs. If YKK made zippers like this you'd need a sledgehammer to get your fly open.

The Zipper

Nausea Factor: 5

Thrill Factor: 5

Bruise Factor: 5

Comment: Like riding a shoe in a dryer. Ride this if you've ever wondered what it'd feel like to squeeze into a bird cage and have someone with boots on kick you around.

There are food stands offering concoctions Pepto-Bismol wouldn't touch. But the Fire Ball is not one of them. The Fire Ball is a ride. It looks like a giant swinging WeedEater, and you ride on the WeedEater part. Well, if you're a ride-tester in your 30s, perhaps you shouldn't. But, sometimes the old Fire Ball bounces your way and you decide to catch it, knowing full well you're gonna get burned.

The Fire Ball [at night]

Nausea Factor: 4

Thrill Factor: 5

Bruise Factor: 1

Comment: Can induce G-forces on sight. As in, "Gee, I don't feel so good." Think massive tire swing designed by NASA. Eat anything within, oh, a week of riding this sway-maker and, well, let's just say you'll be making your own funnel cake.